That’s what I keep thinking. It’s this tape that plays in my head on the "incessant" setting. Have you ever had sobs well up in your throat? That has been me since last night, when I was struck with panic and anxiety for no reason (well, some reason–I haven’t heard from J. in over a week and that always makes me panicky, because it means he’s traveling – a dangerous activity these days).
Iraq had a bad day today. That was how one journalist described the bloodshed and mayhem in Iraq over the last 24 hours. They’re talking about being on the verge of civil war. And I’m walking a treadmill at the Y, picking up a coffee at Starbucks, and trolling the aisles at Walmart for things I can send to J. Sometimes it feels surreal that my contribution to J.’s effort is sending travel-size toothpaste and a deck of cards. I feel useless and disconnected and I want to know where J. is.
I don’t know if your husband is away still, and I know this is an old entry, but my heart goes out to you. I am not a military wife, I have no concept of what you are going through, but your words gave me a view into what you ladies must go through with each deployment.
You can do this, and from the looks of things you are doing it very well. I hope you feel more grounded soon. Don’t aim for perfection, just aim to put one foot in front of the other each day and you will be fine, with these things the only way out is through and the only way through is to keep moving!
your blog always make me feel better.
it’s exactly what i’m going through too..
it’s just that you can write it down..
thankx.
best wishes.
Today I was telling a customer about your “blog” comments… her comment? “Tell her she’s selling herself short, she IS “doing it” and she’s a much stronger person than I could be”… I concur. You may wish you were doing it better, but you ARE “doing it”, hon… and you are becoming a more resilient, flexible, and stronger person because of it. I’m sure your hubby is being stretched by the experience as well. ((hugs)) xoxo